Charlie Sheen Set to Star in One-Man Show


Sheen to perform in new stage show called "My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not An Option Show".


By: DANIEL HOROWITZ  
Published: March 12th 2011
in Culture » Stage

Charlie Sheen

You’ve probably heard all the jokes by now. “How much cocaine does Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two-and-a-half-Men!”

 

“Sheen’s been tapped to star in a new movie, along with Lindsay Lohan. It’s called Two-and-a-half-grams!”

 

Well, now, direct from Shalom Life’s “truth is stranger than fiction” department comes word that the self-professed Warlock, who is said to posses the DNA of Adonis and enjoys his vodka mixed with Tiger Blood, is coming to a stage near you if, you’re unfortunate enough to live in either Detroit of Chicago, that is.

 

That’s right, the recently fired star of the hit sit-com “Two-and-a-Half Men”, is going on the road, live, or, perhaps in Sheen’s case, “half-dead”, to perform in his new One-Man show aptly called “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not An Option Show.”

 

Sheen will launch his one-man show, sure to be full of his rants and buzz-worthy one-liners in Detroit on April 2nd, before he takes his “talents” to Chicago. Tickets went on sale on Saturday, March 12th.

 

It’s time to lock up your daughters, and your liquor cabinets, folks. Sheen is on the loose.

 

“Will there be surprises? Will there be guests? Will there be mayhem? Will you ask questions? Will you laugh? Will you scream? Will you know the truth? WILL THERE BE MORE?!?!” screams Ticketmaster’s website. Well, with tickets ranging from $35.00 to $85.00 (U.S.), there better be something more than Sheen has shown his fans during various talk shows, radio interviews and webcasts over the past month or so. Otherwise, I’d suggest you save the eighty bucks, turn your television sets to “Intervention”, and watch all the denial, screaming, crying, ranting and nervous breakdowns you’ll ever need.

 

Since when did watching someone have a mental and physical breakdown become “theatre?”

 

“This IS where you will hear the REAL story from the Warlock,” says the Ticketmaster site. “Bring it. I dare you to keep up with me.”

 

Don’t know about you, but the chances of me actually paying money to see this walking disaster is about as likely as Sheen being asked to lend his name to an Abused Women’s Shelter. Sorry, Charlie. Let’s make sure this mockery is truly a “one-man” show, and you’re alone when the house lights come up.



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