Sheen fired from 'Two and a Half Men', claims anti-Semitism did him in


Hours after openly discussing his Jewish heritage, Sheen gets fired. Are his claims correct?


By: FICTIONAL NEWS STAFF  
Published: March 8th 2011
in Culture » Television

Charlie Sheen with his ex-wife Brooke Mueller

Twenty-four hours after actor Charlie Sheen openly discussed - and seemingly embraced - his profound connection to Judaism, namely his Jewish mother and his twin boys who were born to a Jewish mother - Warner Brothers has announced that it had fired Sheen from his hit comedy "Two and a Half Men", making Sheen a winner no more.

 

In a short, to the point official statement, Warner Bros. Television wrote, "After careful consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie Sheen's services on 'Two and a Half Men' effective immediately."

 

The studio, which owns and produces the series, will decide about the future of the show at a later date, a spokesman said.

 

In page after page of damning language, the producers of Two of and Half Men justified firing Sheen by painting the actor as a self-destructive, sick addict who's deteriorating mentally and physically while scorning those who have tried to help him.

 

Sheen, who in countless television interviews over the past week or so insists that he is mentally and physically fine, claims that his sudden firing is the result of nothing more than "good ol' anti-Semitism."

 

"Gee, that's kind of strange, isn't it," said Sheen between swigs of Grey Goose and downing grapes fed to him by his Goddesses. "It's odd that, as soon as I mention that I'm proud to be Jewish, I'm fired from a job for the first time in my life! My people come from a long line of strong, determined and fearless people, who, despite one time having been slaves, went on to establish themselves in business, finance and entertainment. Why, we even own Hollywood and all the banks. This will not dissuade me from getting what is rightfully mine. I will win. Defeat is simply not an option. I will squash Chuck "Chaim" Lorre for firing me NOT because I claim to have the body of Adonis and the blood of a tiger, and NOT because I brush my teeth and gargle with vodka, and NOT because I once inhaled the entire third base line at Dodger Stadium, and NOT because I have aged roughly 14 years in the last 3. NO, it is because I was born the son of a Jewess, nothing more, nothing less. I am a winner. I will be vindicated. Is that crystal meth?"

 

Sheen's lawyer, Marty Singer calls the termination an "absurd and ridiculous" retaliation against Sheen for daring to criticize Lorre, a powerful figure at CBS and a known Hebrew.

 

"We feel this is nothing more than Lorre flexing his muscles," says Singer, "and we intend to respond accordingly."

 

The above is reality mixed with some fiction.  Sheen has in fact been fired from Two and a Half Men, rest is fiction.  And we hope it stays that.  Please Sheen, we already cringed when you embraced your Jewish background, please don't further embarrass us.



Related articles: (Charlie Sheen, CBS, Two and a Half Men, )




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