Arab Leaders Look to Purchase all Social Media



By: FICTIONAL NEWS STAFF  
Published: January 28th 2011
in News » World

Social Media Ban

In what could easily be a scene from a blockbuster movie complete with international intrigue and excitement, sources have confirmed that Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak and Tunisian President Zine El Abidine Ben Ali, are in talks with Twitter, FaceBook, YouTube and other social media to purchase all social networks in order to cease their operations in all Arab countries.

 

The move, which began in response to a social media campaign being used to organize demonstrations against the regime of President Hosni Mubarak, is being made in an attempt to control all social networking sites as well as cellular phones and text messaging.

 

In a report leaked to Shalom Life, written by Ben Ali, once the purchase of all social networks is complete, Arab technicians will have all attempts by citizens to log on receive a message that reads:

 

“To protect you and your families from the evil influences of Western Culture, please enjoy the following video created to entertain you…”

 

Users will then automatically be re-routed to a YouTube video showing a baby kangaroo playing ping pong against a baby polar bear.

 

In a related development, when asked about potentially being the new owner of Blackberry, Mubarek said: “I’m very excited about keeping all Arab citizens free from the impure influences of the Western infidels. Also, I have no interest in buying the Phoenix Coyotes and bringing them to Southern Ontario. I don’t think it’s realistic as long as the Maple Leafs control that market.”

 

The above story is fictional, but I'm pretty sure the idea has actually crossed their minds.



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