Shalom Life | April 05, 2015

Kramer’s Ten Best Business Ventures During 'Seinfeld'

After all, it's business as usual at Kramerica Industries

By: Caitlin Marceau

Published: March 16th, 2015 in Business » World

While Kramerica Industries may not be the first thing you think of when looking back on Seinfeld, it’s definitely not something that’s easily forgotten. Cosmo Kramer’s “company” was responsible for some of the most memorable moments, hijinxs, and arguments that take place over the course of the series.

After all, it’s business as usual at Kramerica.

In celebration of his character’s understated brilliance, we at Shalom Life have compiled a list of Cosmo Kramer’s top ten business ventures.

So sit back, relax, grab a cigar (preferably not Dominican - they roll them too tight) and some Kenny Roger’s chicken, and enjoy.

10. Make Your Own Pizza Pie

Definitely not one of the worst ideas Kramer has ever had, his “make your own pizza pie” restaurant is one of his best known business ventures. With the help of Poppie, the two of them worked together to create their own interactive pizzeria. Unfortunately for the two of them, their business wasn’t made to last, ending when the two of them can’t agree whether cucumbers (as well as other ridiculous ingredients) can count as pizza toppings.

9. The 10¢ Bottle Deposit

Always one to try and make easy money, Newman convinces Kramer to join him on a bottle refunding venture. Realizing they’re able to get 10¢ for every can in Michigan, as opposed to the 5¢ they get in New York, Kramer and Newman find a way to make depositing cans in another state profitable. Rather than renting trucks and paying for gas, Newman tells Kramer they can fill his mail truck with cans and drive over to Michigan on company time, as they’ll be having a massive mail sorting before mother’s day in Michigan in a few days. Unfortunately, they have to ditch the hundreds of cans they pack into the truck, and Newman too, in order to chase down Jerry’s stolen car.

8. The Necktie Dispenser

There’s nothing worse than eating a sandwich and spilling mustard on your tie… which is why one of Kramer’s first inventions included a roll-out tie dispenser. Worn with your regular tie at your collar, this tie dispenser would be able to detect when a tie became dirty and replace it with another one. Although this is a great idea, in theory, it’s probably just easier (and way less expensive and bulky) to keep a spare tie on hand in your car or desk drawer. Of course, this invention also came long before Tide To-Go.

7. PB and J’s

One of Kramer’s later business ideas, PB and J’s is Kramer’s idea for a restaurant which only serves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Although this idea might be popular amongst five-year-olds (assuming peanut butter isn’t banned at their school), and while there may be an seemingly endless combination of peanut butters and jams, the idea was never explored for obvious reasons. Although we’re guessing it’s only a matter of time before this kind of restaurant becomes a real thing.

6. The Executive

Always a man to spot an opportunity, Kramer decides to get into the coat business when he realizes that they’re a best seller at Rudy’s Antique Boutique downtown. The beltless trench coats, called The Executives, are fetching a high price and it just so happens that Morty has a box of them at his home (as he believes he’s an inventor of the jacket). The two men try to strike out a deal with Rudy but, as always, things go awry and both Kramer and Morty end up with nothing to show for their business venture.

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